Marriage Quotes

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.- Groucho Marx

Marriage is the sole cause of divorce.

All marriages are happy - it's the living together afterward that causes all the problems.

The most happy marriage I can picture would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. - Coleridge

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want? - Freud

Sign in a marriage counselor's window: "OUT TO LUNCH - THINK IT OVER."

Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence (a life sentence!).

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Montaigne

A man is not complete until he is married -- then he is finished.

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. - Sacha Guitry

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe. - Jackie Mason

If you never want to see a man again, say, "I love you, I want to marry you, I want to have children..." - they leave skid marks. - Rita Rudner

Love thy neighbor, but make sure her husband is away first.

Marry not a tennis player. For love means nothing to them.

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

It's easy to tell if a man is married or not. Just watch him drive a car with a woman sitting beside him. If both his hands are on the wheel, you can be sure he is married.

It's true that all men are born free and equal - but some of them get MARRIED!

There was a man who said, "I never knew what happiness was until I got married.... and then it was too late!"