General Motors helpline

HelpLine : General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?
Customer : I got in my car and closed the door and nothing happened!
HelpLine : Did you put the key in the ignition slot and turn it?
Customer : What's an ignition?
HelpLine : It's a starter motor that draws current from your battery and turns over the engine.
Customer : Ignition? Motor? Battery? Engine? How come I have to know all these technical terms just to use my car?

HelpLine : General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?
Customer : My car ran fine for a week and now it won't go anywhere!
HelpLine : Is the gas tank empty?
Customer : Huh? How do I know?
HelpLine : There's a little gauge on the front panel with a needle and markings from 'E' to 'F'. Where is the needle pointing?
Customer : It's pointing to 'E'. What does that mean?
HelpLine : It means you have to visit a gasoline vendor and purchase some more gasoline. You can install it yourself or pay the vendor to install it for you.
Customer : What? I paid $12,000 for this car! Now you tell me that I have to keep buying more components? I want a car that comes with everything built in!

HelpLine : General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?
Customer : Your cars suck!
HelpLine : What's wrong?
Customer : It crashed, that's what wrong!
HelpLine : What were you doing?
Customer : I wanted to run faster, so I pushed the accelerator pedal all the way to the floor. It worked for a while and then it crashed and it won't start now!
HelpLine : It's your responsibility if you misuse the product. What do you expect us to do about it?
Customer : I want you to send me one of the latest version that doesn't crash any more!

HelpLine : General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?
Customer : Hi, I just bought my first car, and I chose your car because it has automatic transmission, cruise control, power steering, power brakes, and power door locks.
HelpLine : Thanks for buying our car. How can I help you?
Customer : How do I work it?
HelpLine : Do you know how to drive?
Customer : Do I know how to what?
HelpLine : Do you know how to drive?
Customer : I'm not a technical person. I just want to go places in my car!