"In my house I`m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker."


"My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met."


"Ah, yes, divorce...from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man`s genitals through his wallet."


"A married man should forget his mistakes; no use two people remembering the same thing."


"When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that`s a few steps ahead is the one that`s mad."


"Eighty percent of married men cheat in America...The rest cheat in Europe."


"Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel."

"I don`t think I`ll get married again. I`ll just find a woman I don`t like
and give her a house."

"I`m the only man in the world with a marriage license made out to
whom it may concern."

"I haven`t spoken to my wife in years. I didn`t want to interrupt her."

"The difference between divorce and legal separation is that legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money."